So, let’s talk about repentance.
I guess Easter seems like a good season to talk theologically and abstractly about things like that. But let’s get real with it.
I’ve had a very stressful week. Mice infestation at work. Our building caught on fire. We are having major renovations done (which of course are behind schedule) the week before Easter. I came within a few miles of blowing out the engine in my car this week. My glands are swollen again, because that is a symptom that my little chronic fatigued body cannot get rid of. And I had a migraine the first half of this week.
Worse than that, I was so distracted by these little things that I left every window in my house open for Satan to come in. I wasn’t paying attention. I wasn’t turning to Jesus other than to complain. I was focused on myself and my teeny tiny worldview, and I let the enemy come right in. And I knew he was there. And I let him stay. He ate from my pantry and drank all my Dr. Pepper and I let him sit there for a few days watching my satellite tv before I realized what I was doing.
Cause here’s the thing. Sin isn’t always a bad moral event like stealing or lusting. Sometimes it’s fear or unbelief. Those things are harder to nail down; they’re harder to repent from I think because it’s easy to get half way down the road of fear before you realize what the heck you’re doing. Whereas, if I steal a candy bar, I know what I’m doing from the time I pick it up.
My repentance this week was from letting stress rob my joy; from unbelief that God is good to me; from faith in his wonderful plan for my life. I got freaked out over little things, when really, God was good. I have mice at work—that means I have a job. I almost blew out my engine, but didn’t, and only spent $200 to fix a car with 200,000+ miles on it; and he has never not provided what was needed. Renovations here will be done. My glands will recover eventually. My migraine is gone. And in the midst of this, I had a lot of really great little moments, that I didn’t even stop to be thankful for, and a husband who always hits me straight up with truth right when I need it most (if you don’t think that’s an incredible blessing, you don’t understand what blessings are).
So, for the rest of this week, I will have faith that God is all knowing and that He is good. That His plans for me are good and well thought out. That He is blessing me now, as I write these words and as you read them. I will be intentional about thanking him for the good things; I will praise his name when good things happen and when bad things happen. He is worthy of my praise, all the time.
If you catch yourself believing something about God that doesn’t like up with his character and who you know him to me, well, then you have something to repent of. Make a big wide U-turn from those half truths or quarter truths that life and our enemy try to get us to believe. Stand on the truth of who God tells us He is. Believe only the things about Him that He has said.