5 I am calling up memories of your sincere and unqualified faith (the [b]leaning of your entire personality on God in Christ in absolute trust and confidence in His power, wisdom, and goodness), [a faith] that first lived permanently in [the heart of] your grandmother Lois and your mother Eunice and now, I am [fully] persuaded, [dwells] in you also.
I was reading this verse in 2 Timothy yesterday and was so floored by how Timothy's faith is described. 'The leaning of your entire personality on God...'-I love that. Who we are, our hopes, our dreams, our fears, how we react and respond to things, our very sinfulness--can all be leaned on God.
'...in Christ in absolute trust and confidence in His power, wisdom, and goodness'--I think so often I am confident in God's power, but I often doubt his wisdom, and frequently doubt His goodness. I don't have a problem believing that God is God and can do something. I have a harder time trusting Him when He chooses to not do what I want, and that in turn makes me doubt His goodness. Ah, the age old sin, present since the beginning of time, when our crafty little enemy tries to convince us that God's not good.
I love this idea Paul speaks about of having absolute confidence in the goodness of God. Even if it's not the goodness we were wanting, that still doesn't detract from the truth that God is good. I mean think about it: Just because my husband doesn't get me the exact gift I want for Christmas, doesn't mean that the gift he gave me isn't good or that he isn't good; it simply means that I didn't get what I want. And getting what I want and God being good to me are not the same thing. It's here that we have to have that ultimate confidence in His wisdom, and trust that if He says no it's because He's smarter than us and has his reasons.
God can't be anything but himself, and He is always powerful, and wise, and good. My circumstances should not dictate who God is to me. He is who He says He is, and circumstances or emotions do not change that. It is He who is stable, and I who am not. I hope He continues to grant me grace to see how He can be trusted with everything; even my entire personality as Scripture says here. How wild a thought that we have no reason to ever doubt Him.