Wednesday, July 3, 2013

Love worth celebrating

Happy Anniversary to me!!

Three years ago, I walked down the aisle to join the man who I would share this incredible adventure of life with.

 Dave has been such an incredible blessing in my life.  A friend, an encourager, a reminder of truth.  A leader,   a comrade, a playmate, my love.  Marriage is so much more than I ever dreamed that it would be.  There is such a one-ness that I did not anticipate.  I love the daily part of marriage; the going to the grocery store together and having inside jokes and watching tv together.  I love the silliness that is so often found in us.

I'm so thankful for the gift of Dave.  He is so much more than what I thought a husband would be.

And here's the thing, girls--I think we are so misled as daughters of the Church in what a godly man is.  We are taught to find a leader, but really, I don't think we have a good idea of what that is supposed to look like.  Or, maybe it's more accurate to say that we have really, really well defined and specific ideas about what we think it is supposed to look like.  Because if we are honest with ourselves, I think we will find that we all have (or had as in the case of those of use who are already married) ideas of what we think a good godly leader looks like.

We think a godly leader speaks out in small group and always has a wise comment or thought.
We think a godly leader should know more Scripture than us and lead us in prayer daily.
We think a godly leader plays in the worship band or helps out in a specific ministry.
We think a godly leader is the leader of the small group, not just the guy who attends.
We think a godly leader is one who we don't have to initiate anything with.

Girls, those are lies.

They are not necessarily untrue completely, but they are painting a picture of a man that is only a half truth at best, and that's just as bad as something that's completely inaccurate.

Because, here's the truth.

A godly leader isn't the same as being outspoken.
A godly leader may keep his wise comments to himself and not want to speak out in a large group.
A godly leader will not magically know that you like him and ask you out without your expressing interest.
A godly leader will need your encouragement, your wisdom, your knowledge, and your prayers, and often, he will need you to initiate them.
Marriage is a partnership.

I know that when I take an honest look at what I was like in my single years, I can say that I had a preconceived idea as to what a godly leader was supposed to look like.  What he was supposed to do, and how he was supposed to act, and what he was supposed to know.


My husband doesn't play guitar in the worship band and he doesn't lead a small group.  He doesn't get on his knees and lead us in a ten minute prayer each night before bed.  He doesn't write sweet nothings on my Facebook wall.

Does that make him less of a godly leader than someone who does all of those things?


What makes him a leader is his security in who he is in Christ.  What makes him a leader is his incredible love for me and his ability to make hard decisions and lead our family.

Leadership and godliness are played out in a variety of personalities.  I'm so thankful God gave me eyes to see the value in my husband.  Because if I had continued to cling to those notions I had, I would have lost out on something really, really wonderful.

I often wonder how many good but quiet guys get passed over in the church because we girls have some (really silly) idea of what a godly man is, and these guys don't fit that mold.  I'm not saying to settle.  I'm just saying let God change your definition of a godly man.  Scriptures are full of examples of godly men, and not all of them played guitar and could quote Francis Chan.  I wonder how many good godly leaders are being passed over by girls because they aren't packaged the way we think they should be.

I'm so thankful today for Dave. For his personality and his leadership and the way he makes me love and know Jesus more.  Thankful that there is such a thing as marriage, and that three years ago I put on a white dress and curled my hair and started what has turned out to be one really sweet walk with Dave as we both walk after Jesus.

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